The electricity had gone out and I was in our bedroom waiting for instructions. I had stood in the dark many times before but this time it didn’t scare me, it didn’t frustrate me, strangely enough, it comforted me.
All of a sudden I saw my 22 year old self, a small town girl who’d never known anything other than being surrounded by friends, family and every comfort imaginable. Now I was in a new country. I didn’t know the language. I didn’t know a soul. I was living and working at the state run orphanage. I was often without heat, electricity and water. Internet was unreliable. And yet I had a smile on my face and my heart was bursting.
I tapped into a well of strength I never knew I had.
When I moved back to the States after spending five years overseas working and traveling alone I found it difficult to adjust to “home”. I found things had changed quickly and I too was forever changed. I never processed my experiences. I rarely wrote back then and those were the days of taking photos, processing film and sending letters that arrived 30+ days later.
I loved my adventure, but I had not yet learned how to share it with others.
This sense of isolation plagued me as I struggled to fit in and find my way. In many ways I diminished my experiences because no one else was there experiencing them with me. That is until this dark night twelve years later. In my mind’s eye I saw all my challenges, all my victories, pure love swept over me and I felt proud of myself.
The lights came on and I looked up and saw my reflection in the mirror, smiled and said to myself, you did good!
Just recalling the experience floods my eyes with tears.
I think about how rarely we give ourselves credit.
Honestly, how often do you look at your life and congratulate yourself on a job well done?
We both know there are mountains you’ve climbed, oceans you’ve swam and giants you have defeated.
Give yourself a pat on the back.
Hungry for More, Monique Alvarez p.s. If there are typos, spelling or grammar mistakes in this post don’t worry about. Those are the kinds of things I’ve worried about for FAR too long. It’s time to just get it out and who cares if it’s not perfect, it’s from the heart!