This week made my head spin.
I asked my OBM to clear my week so I could sleep and clearly hear what was going on beneath the surface. You see three times in an 18 month period I had a long time client who I had dedicated much time and love to, have an about face and disappeared.
How can people be so fickle?
I wondered the same thing. The first time this happened I had been a volunteer for a non-profit in Tucson and eventually was asked to be on the board of directors. I personally nominated the non-profit for a $20k donation that they ended up receiving. Within months of my actions the President text me out of the blue and said she wanted nothing to do with me and disappeared out of my life completely. This week a client literally was on a call with me on Monday, commenting how much she was getting out of the session and within 24 hours she sent me a message in the middle of the night saying she was leaving every program she was a part of, effective immediately. No phone call, no Zoom session, no explanation. Gone.
Those of you who know me, know I don’t deal with crazy well.
This kind of emotional instability really baffles me, well it did until last night. I asked Liz to lead our mastermind session because I wasn’t in a place where I could give and I was feeling personally hurt about what happened. This was someone I had a relationship with for almost two years. Someone I had asked to help me with the birth of my third child. I took a nap and ate and then boom, the veil lifted!
We’ve all heard this a million times, but what other people do rarely has anything to do with us!
I got it! As day turned into night I didn’t feel personally hurt anymore. The pain in my heart left me and I realized how afflicted this person must be. What caused this kind of rash action? A long and set pattern of dissatisfaction with herself. How many are just like her? They have so much and yet CANNOT SEE IT. They have stacks and stacks of accomplishments and priced possessions and yet my life seems to trigger the shit out of them.
Some people can’t be happy with what they have.
Some people think their happiness depends on having what YOU have. It’s like watching a group of toddlers who each have a cookie and then one decides that not only does she want her cookie, she doesn’t want anyone else to have one. This is not the philosophy I live by. I believe that just as I have created a life I love, every person on the planet has the ability to do the same. One of the biggest keys though is to get out of our own way. We can never feel good while wishing others ill. We can never succeed while secretly hoping to sabotage someone else. Life doesn’t work that way.
The secret to success is so simple.
Get happy. Get really, really happy and watch what follows. Be committed to feeling good, to celebrating life, to loving deeply, to meaningful conversations, to accepting yourself fully. And guess what? While I’m busy feeling good, I won’t dim my shine even one percent for the benefit or comfort of another. I will not alter my joy in hopes that someone won’t feel small in my presence. I will never dilute my power for the promise of a fan girl, client, or payment notification.
And neither should you!