Recently my Dad and I were having a conversation about life and how we become who we are today. Basically it comes down to three main things:
-Who we were when we first arrived here.
-Our own free will.
I flashed to this when I heard the heart cry of a young mom so determined to be the best mom ever, to get it right and most of all to get her son potty trained pronto. It was obvious the little guy missed the memo that said by age two you must be potty trained! :)
When you listen you can hear the pressure from “everyone” behind so much of what we do.
Everyone says if you don’t spank your child they’ll grow up to be a criminal. Everyone says if you don’t get good grades you’ll never get a good job. Everyone says if you don’t have a boyfriend you’ll never get married. Everyone says if you don’t make $100,000 you’re a loser. Everyone says if you don’t have a big house you’re poor. Everyone says if you don’t…have your kids potty trained by two you’re a bad mom. Oh that was exhausting, but I hope you can see where I’m going with this.
I realized that from the beginning, age two or younger, people have set expectations on us and they expect us to live up to them.
The problem is everyone is different and wants to experience different things, in different ways and how can we stay true to ourselves and what makes us happy if we’ve got to measure up to these standards?
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from marriage and business is that there’s no right or wrong way to go about them. Derek and I weren’t worried about if we were doing what all the other couples were doing. In fact, we hardly hang out with married couples because it gets annoying. I remember telling a friend that we were going on a date night once and she explained to me that only couples with children need date nights. I laughed and went about the date night. And recently (on Facebook) I came across a man (twice my age) who had given Derek and I some advice about our business about a year and a half ago. I remember him telling us we didn’t have a good system and that it wouldn’t work. As it turns out he’s no longer in business and our business is booming.
My point is whether it’s marriage, raising kids or running a business, you gotta find what works for you and do it, no matter what “everyone” has to say about it.Hungry for More, A. Monika
p.s. If there are typos, spelling or grammar mistakes in this post don’t worry about. Those are the kinds of things I’ve worried about for FAR too long. It’s time to just get it out and who cares if it’s not perfect, it’s from the heart!